Rewriting fear

Are you irrationally terrified of something?

Years ago, when I first started doing public speaking, I felt like I was going to die.

Sweat through my shirt. Clenched hands. Quivering voice.

I was terrible at it. Which was confusing, because in small groups I was a confident speaker. But put me in front of a crowd and something short-circuited. Hundreds of eyes and my brain just…shut down.

Around that time, I came across a study on beta blockers—drugs that blunt the effects of adrenaline by blocking beta-adrenergic receptors, lowering heart rate and dampening the physical symptoms of fear.

The interesting part wasn't just that they reduced anxiety in the moment. It was that, when paired with exposure to the feared situation, they seemed to help rewrite the fear itself.

The mechanism is subtle but powerful: when you recall a fear, your brain briefly "reopens" that memory. If, during that window, your body doesn't experience the usual panic response, the memory gets stored again in a less fearful form.

So if you're terrified of spiders: take a beta blocker, then spend time around spiders. Your body stays calm, and your brain updates the file from "danger" to "not a big deal."

I tried it.

I took a beta blocker a few times before speaking events. And it was shocking how quickly things changed. The physical panic was gone, which meant I could actually practice being calm in front of a crowd.

Today, I'm cool as a cucumber whether I'm talking to 3 people or 3,000. It feels like my brain got rewired.

I've used the same trick in other situations too.

A few years ago, I was negotiating a deal with a guy who was incredibly intense. He stressed me out, and I found myself folding under pressure.

I took a beta blocker before meeting him.

Boom. The physical fear disappeared. And once my body stopped reacting, my mind followed. That dynamic never came back.

Propranolol is the one I used. I still use it occasionally when I notice I'm having a fear reaction to something (do your own research before taking one!). Just tell your doctor you have some public speaking coming up and they will usually be happy to prescribe you some.

Originally published in the I wasted my twenties... issue of Never Enough.